Because just when you think it’s safe to go back in the water … your lumbar discs go on strike yet again!
God bless my physio, that’s all I can say. Without him I’d be even more of a mess than I am … and that’s saying something!
The problem with having a physical weakness is that even when you think you’ve strengthened yourself, the underlying problem never really goes away. So after lots of physio and exercises and anti-inflammatory drugs for the slipped lumbar discs I seemed to be fine. Which meant I lifted an old sofa for recycling by the council. I hasten to add – I wasn’t being crazy. I had help. It wasn’t a terrible weight plus at no time did I feel any pain. That was last Wednesday morning. And by Thursday night I was back to not being able to walk or stand for any length of time or sit, yet again. Physio Friday. The weekend was a total, pain-ruined washout (I spent it on my back, on drugs, and lying on frozen peas) and yesterday, Monday, was pretty ordinary as well. Physio again yesterday morning. Ah, the traction machine. And ice. And interferential buzzy box. Last night I walked 3 kms on the treadmill. This morning I walked 5 kms on the treadmill. I had a bit of niggly pain to start with but it walked off.
I guess the moral of the story is never underestimate one’s ability to think you’re way stronger than you are. Sigh.
Being afraid of your own body is a pain in the arse when you’re trying to get fit. For the longest time I was afraid because of the chronic fatigue syndrome issues. Now that the CFS is behind me (and it truly is – while I continue to be mindful of my exercise intensity levels, these days I am perfectly capable of walking for an hour without being wiped out physically for weeks after) it seems I still have to pay attention to my skeletal frailties. The lower back issues arise from a history of horse-riding accidents, car accidents and bad ergonomics at the start of my full-time writing career. I continue to hope that I can beat them, and that’s certainly what I’m working towards. But it’s a slow journey and sometimes a frustrating one. Especially when the physical crap affects my mental equilibrium and derails my writing.
So that’s me, just now. Working my way back to regular walking, elliptical machine, swimming and weights at a level that helps me get fitter and continue losing weight without derailing me into crapland, again.
What fears do you battle as you work towards building a fitter, healthier you? What issues have a tendency to derail your progress?